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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

In Loving Memory.... My Beloved Mother


Gw gak mau yang baca jadi ikutan sedih, so gw bikin singkat aja deh... Soalnya ada yg bilang baca tantang Bapak bikin dia jadi sedih juga... mudah2an ini nggak ya... Cuma ngerasa mesti posting aja, soalnya hari ini pas 10 tahun Ibu pulang ke rumah Bapa.... Waktu denger beritanya, rasanya gak percaya... gw masih di Jerman waktu itu. Seminggu sebelumnya, ibu dioperasi, kanker cervix. Karna dia gak mau kandungannya diangkat, dokter ngerencanain bakal ngasih chemotherapy sesudah dia recover dari operasinya. Beberapa hari sesudah operasi, gw masih ngomong ditelpon, bilang gw mo pulang aja, nengokin dia, tapi dia ngelarang, katanya dia udah baikan. Inyo juga bilang ibu udah mulai jalan kok, udah sehat... 3 hari esudah itu, ibu pergi. Nyeseeeeeeellll banget gak sempet liat dia terakhir kalinya, yang paling nyesel, selama dia hidup kayaknya gw gak pernah bilang "I love you" atau nyatain perasaan sayang ke dia, kayaknya gengsi or malu2 or gimanaaaaa gitu.... Yang pasti sejak itu gw selalu berusaha ngasih tau ke keluarga or orang yg gw sayang, terutama Bapak, kalo gw tuh sayang ama mereka... Gak malu2 lagi ngomong "I love you" ke keluarga.... Kebayang gak sih, naik pesawat dari Jerman ke Jakarta sesudah denger berita kayak gitu. Sejak deger berita itu, gwudah gak bisa makan & minum, gw inget banget di pesawat semua makanan & minuman dari pramugari gw tolak. Sampe akhirnya pramugarinya duduk di samping gw & ngomong (waktu itu naik KLM), "gw bisa liat elu lagi sedih, gw tau elu gak pengen makan saat ini, tapi elu harus makan, soalnya sejak kita berangkat elu sama sekali gak makan & minum. Gw bawain makan ya? Biar sedikit elu mesti makan & minum". Akhirnya gw iya in, gw paksain makan tapi gak sampe abis. Untungnya sampe Jakarta udah ada yg nunggu di depan pesawat, jadi gw gak harus lewatin imigrasi & nunggu koper. Passport lgs diminta ama orang imigrasi yg udah ditugasin nunggu, terus gw bisa langsung lewat, passport & koper nyusul ke rumah, dibawa sopir. Sampe di rumah, udah mo mulai kebaktian penghiburan, cuma lagi nunggu gw nyampe aja. Gw inget gw histeris pas ngeliat ibu di dalam peti, sampe kebaktian mesti ditunda buat nenangin gw dulu... Bapak cuma bilang, "ibu udah senang, gak sakit lagi, jadi Ai (nama panggilan gw di keluarga) jangan sedih terus ya". Gw inget gw nanya ke Bapak... "Ibu tau kan Pak kalo Ai sayang Ibu? Ai gak pernah bilang ke Ibu soalnya kalo Ai sayang Ibu", Bapak cuma bilang... "Ibu tau biarpun Ai gak pernah bilang"

You filled our lives with unconditional love & were always there when we needed you. You were an angel on earth, & now you are an angel in heaven. A mother's love knows no bounds, & you will be in my heart forever. I never had the chance to tell you that I love you & I will always love you. You will never be forgotten & will always be loved. Until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hands. Your daughter, Susy

10 comments:

Larisa said...

turut berduka cita....

aduh jadi sedih bacanya, memang bener kita orang asia itu sangat susah sekali mengungkapkan kata "i love u"( terutama untuk keluarga)ngak spt bule yg langsung bisa mengungkapin...tapi percayalah mamanya sudah bahagia di sana di rumah Bapanya....

btw, salam kenal..

Susy Masengi-Saunders said...

Bedankt & salam kenal juga ya Larisa.

Kayaknya itu memang salah satu kelemahan kita orang Asia yg susah banget ngungkapin perasaan. Tapi sejak kejadian itu, ik belajar banyak untuk lebih terbuka ngungkapin perasaan, terutama rasa sayang ke keluarga, toh itu bagus & sebelum terlambat akhirnya nyesel kayak gitu lagi :)

Btw, blog nya di link di sini juga ya?

Anonymous said...

aaahhh..., gw tetep sedih :(

eniwei, nyokap mirip banget ama papanya arra ya?

Susy Masengi-Saunders said...

sorry les, itu udah dibikin super singkat lho pdhal, biar yg baca gak sempet ikutan sedih :)

Yg bener papanya arra yg mirip nyokap kali bukan kebalik :D
emang yg cewek berdua mirip bokap, yg cowok mirip nyokap, dia juga yg dulu paling deket ama nyokap seh, paling dimanja karna bontot & cowok satu2nya :))
Dan semua sodara termasuk bokap blg kalo arra mirip bgt ama omanya.....

TrueMom said...

Jeng..aku punya pengalaman sama 20 Desember 1997.., tapi on the way back..i had no idea what happened..i went home for Christmas..

i didnt know till i saw a white flag in front of my house..it was like the end of the world.. i didnt get a chance to tell her how much i love her.., and i still miss her till now..i eally do..she was my role model..her life completely dedicated to her husband and children..thats the thing i always remember and try to put in my basic life..now. her example to me really put me through..

sorry kepanjangan..

Susy Masengi-Saunders said...

Jeng Nuk,

I'm sure our mothers will always be missed by us & the family, but they are happy with their Father in heaven now. And just like you, I try my best to do what she taught me & how she dedicated her life to the family.

JBUs

feby taka said...

soo.. im going to write this on, not to make you sad or anything. but simply just words that i wanted to say for a long time.

i love mama net so mucchh, she mean so much in my life, person i've always missed and feels closed with.

eventhough i was really young and all the memories felt too short. but every moment i spent with her. its all still there.., i remember one time she came to our place when i was at school and she just waited and kept asking my mama "feby mana ya.." and by the time i got home she gave me this gold ring.

she's classic for me and one of the special person in my whole life.

I miss you Mama Net, till we meet again......... much much love. muuaaaaahhhhhh

Susy Masengi-Saunders said...

She was & will always be avery special person for the whole family, not just for her chldren, because she'd touched many lives.

I hope you'll keep & take care of the golden ring she gave you Fe, even though it's just a small one maybe... as a memory of her :-)

feby taka said...

no sadly the ring was stolen :[

Titut said...

Allo, sis Susy drop by 2say lup you :D. Ibu-ku, 14 Feb kemarin pun genap 1thn dipanggil Bapa. Semoga bunda sis Susy & ibuku RIP di sisi Bapa di surga, amin.